Sunday, December 20, 2009


i haven't had anything to say. so i haven't been posting(obviously). however, i have been reading.
its so so sooo hard to read you're posts and see you all improve while i slowly get worse and worse. i'm proud of you all, but its such a shitty feeling. its shitty because i know its all in my control, i'm just a fat lazy girl who doesn't choose to fix herself. i haven't been throwing up or even eating healthy. i blame it on the season but the blame is on me. i can still fit into my zero's, but i fit into my one's as well. my current weight is 111 lbs. that is so disgusting. i don't even know why i have no control anymore. its not that i don't care, because i do. its just that i don't think, i eat when i want to and even when i don't want to. i don't want to write anymore, but i might later. bye.