Friday, November 27, 2009


i'm so sorry i haven't posted. i've been too sick and too fat.
i still fit into my zero jeans no problem, thank god. thanksgiving was yesterday. that wasn't okay. but other than that i've actually been doing decent. school lunches have been bad the past week, but i'll kick myself back into better habits. i've actually been happy lately. well happy-ish. i've had things to do. that is really good for me because if i wasn't out doing things i'd be sitting on my lazy ass eating and watching tv. two nights ago i was hanging out with some people and everyone was smoking and i don't smoke weed anymore so i sat there and watched and after when they all had the munchies and everyone was scarfing down chips, pizza, and soda i was happily sitting there starving.
well i need to go get ready, i'm going out. that means i won't be eating until tomorrow morning.

Monday, November 9, 2009


i'm back in my zero jeans! (:
i completely drown in my threes and my ones are slightly loose. finally. hahah


i'm so sorry i haven't been posting.
school is ridiculous, as well as dance, and family.
but to catch you up, i got really sick on saturday and didn't eat until today (monday) after i fainted, which had never happened to me until today. i weighed myself when i was finally able to get out of my bed and i'm 108. this number haunts me. it never gets smaller, yet often increases. i went two days without eating, i really don't understand. however, looking in the mirror i feel smaller somehow? who knows, i'm pretty delusional right now. but i'm super tired. i'll post soon. <3

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


life is hectic.
today was interesting, the power went out at our school so everyone got to leave. i was excited! and before we were released i had a reall deep conversation with one of my old best friends, we had a falling out and i'm glad we finally talked about it. i love resolving issues. it makes life so much easier.
so i wanted to apologize for not posting in forever. i haven't been doing very good. and its hard to read all your posts when i hear about how amazing your doing. haha. but good job if you have been doing well! i haven't been throwing up. who knows why. (i was talking to my best friend about this and i think it is my recently changed attitude and my lack of self control). and of course halloween was this weekend.. which means candy and sweets galore. i can't even begin to describe how much chocolate i consumed this week and yesterday i had a bagel at lunch! today will be better though. i've only had a sucker my friend got me and i didn't even finish half of it. i'm not even hungry, i'm probably still running off everything i ate this weekend. goodness. well, i have to get off the computer. someone here to look at my house. bye (: