Monday, October 5, 2009


i love this weather so much <3

so basically homecoming was terrible. the whole night was a bust, but i'm over it. i have been spending a lot of time lately letting little things get to me, and i finally let myself cry and realize, its high school. this doesn't matter in the long run. i'm over being judged, the only opinion that matters is mine.i'm aware that i should have known that, and i did, i just never believed it. i think i finally do. (:

so i'm ready to tell you what i've been up to.
i cut myself a few weekends ago (when i said i did something stupid and didn't regret it.) i haven't done it since and i don't think it was necessary, actually i know it wasn't. but for some reason i felt like i had to... not sure why?
and i've been throwing up again.. there is someone who reads this that i should have told, but didn't. i hope when you read this you don't hate me. i didn't know how to tell you.
when i said my opinion is the only one that matters, there are actually three other people who's opinions matter to me. but my opinion of myself is different than theirs of me. and that's why i do things like that.

its really hard not having certain things and to have see other people get them so easily is really hard. i don't feel the need to explain that or give specifics. but i feel like that applies to everything so you can relate it to yourself.

i need to get ready for dance.
but thanks for reading. <3

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